Party on your Pantry:

How to throw a last-minute dinner party and still have a good time

 

Laura Fraser

A different version of this is in Organic Style, October, 2004

 

Whenever I open one of those glossy books on entertainingÑwith photos of perfect place settings, where everything from the centerpiece down to the salt cellars match in celadon green--I am reminded what a sham I am as a hostess. My linens are wrinkly, the stemware mismatched, and I long ago sliced all my grandmotherÕs silver napkin rings to make bohemian bracelets. I never plan far enough in advance to serve anything exotic and impressive, my cooking is messy and haphazard, and dinner often ends up being eaten before it reaches the table.

Still, I have a reputation among my friends for being an excellent hostess and cook. I do love to throw partiesÑoften spontaneously, inviting a few friends over for a biteÑand my guests seem to have a good time in spite of my flaws. IÕm no Martha Stewart or Barefoot Contessa, but by recognizingÑand embracing--my limitations as a hostess, IÕve managed to perfect the *illusion* of having perfect dinner parties. As far as I can tell, no one can discern the difference.

Entertaining must be one of AmericaÕs top phobias, somewhere between public speaking and handling rattlesnakes. ItÕs understandable, since the many books available on entertaining make it clear that there is much to fear: dessert forks in the wrong place, white wine glasses set out for red, souffles falling, having the fire department show up when you grill. GrandmaÕs china, linens, crystals, and silver must be gingerly unpacked, polished up, and hand-washed afterward (otherwise, when will you ever use them?). The pressures to cook something complicated and spectacular are intense. Giving dinner parties becomes a test for busy women, who are consumed with their work and children, to prove that they are as blissfully and competently domestic as their mothers (who were just trying to compete with their grandmothers).

But these days, dinner parties are even more daunting than for our mothersÕ generation, since we have to cope with the perils of modern eating habits. Guests who used to be happy to try anything might suddenly show up as vegans who wonÕt touch the main course, dieters who alternately complain about the fat or carbohydrate content of the courses, foodies who want to know the pedigree of every vegetable, or zealous activists who inquire about the exact size of the chickenÕs free range. Traditional boy-girl seating arrangements become a logistical nightmare when you consider modern family relationships involving ex-spouses, gay friends, and the current explosion of single, interesting women. More and more, it makes sense to just go out to eat. But itÕs a shame, because thereÕs no greater pleasure than sharing a good meal with friends in your home. And many of them are less perfectionistic in their standards than you might believe. On the whole, good food, good company, and good wine will make people happy (maybe just good wine alone)Ñand everything else is extraneous. There ways of fooling your guests into thinking youÕre a better hostess than you are, too. HereÕs how I throw a ÒperfectÓ dinner party:

1. Never plan in advance. If you invite friends to a dinner party weeks ahead, they will expect an elaborate meal and stylish table. TheyÕll dress up and fuss over whether to bring wine or a hostess gift. TheyÕll arrive anticipating a six-course meal from the French Laundry cookbook. But if the invitation is last-minute and off-hand, your friends will be amazed at how quickly and effortlessly you managed to put a party together, theyÕll be grateful for the fact that they can go casual, and theyÕll forgive you for forgetting theyÕre on the Atkins Diet. If your friends are too busy to allow for spontaneous plans, you at least get social points for having invited them.

2. Make friends with good cooks, and invite them to come early. I have many wonderful cooks and Italians among my friends. This isnÕt accidental. I tell them that the party starts a good hour before other guests will arrive (I invite the Italians two hours early, because theyÕre perpetually an hour late), and offer them a glass of wine in the kitchen. Then I casually set a cutting board and a knife in front of them, along with some garlic or roasted red peppers, which they canÕt resist. Soon, IÕm drinking the wine, and theyÕre doing all the work. Italians are especially good guests. If you act somewhat helpless about how the pasta or a frittata should be prepared, they will take over completelyÑonly real Italians, they believe (perhaps correctly) can make real Italian food. Then they will be polite enough to remain quiet when guests compliment you on the meal. ItÕs only because of my friends Peppe, Marco, and Caterina that I have a reputation as an accomplished Italian cook. If there are no real Italians available, Italo-Americans will usually do.

3. Always keep a party in your pantry. If you invite guests spontaneously, you must be prepared to always have the makings of a dinner party meal on hand, one which will easily expand to accommodate the extra guests the Italians will probably bring. Nothing fancy, but I can throw a dinner party for thirty with thirty minutesÕ notice. IÕm never without the ingredients for a simple spicy pasta sauceÑcanned organic tomatoes (they taste better), olive oil, hot pepper flakes, pasta, and hard reggiano cheese. I buy mixed greens and throw in sliced fennel for a salad, with an easy and elegant dressing of lemon, olive oil, and shallots. I keep limoncello (an Italian sweet lemon liquore) in my liquor cabinet to pour over whatever fruit or vanilla ice cream I can get at the corner store or, preferably, ask a guest to bring. And thereÕs always a case of decent red wine in the house. For larger parties, I keep plenty of paper cups, napkins, and plastic cutlery stashed. Sometimes, when IÕm really lazy, IÕll use those for smaller parties, too (recycling the paper and re-washing the plastic).

4. Offer distractions Nothing keeps your guests from examining the imperfections of your table like a little entertainment. Here, it helps to cultivate friends who play piano or sing with the opera. Otherwise, simple party tricks will do. In one case, after a recent trip to Egypt, I offered everyone a turban to wear when they arrived, which amused them long enough to keep them from realizing that the elaborate Mediterranean food had been made by the guys at the local take-out deli, not me. Another ruse is to make specialty cocktails, like negronis (equal parts gin, sweet vermouth, and Campari, with a twist of orange), which are unusual enough, and strong enough, to take peopleÕs minds off the mismatching napkins.

5. Stick to tried and true dishes Many people seem compelled to make something difficult at a dinner party, when itÕs the last time such feats should be attempted. Complicated meals are why restaurants were invented. My mother, who was excellent at concocting such dishes as Sloppy Joes for the family, used to torture herself by trying out twelve-step beouf roulades for guests, who, baffled, would often leave them nearly untouched. A friend decided to wait until she had eight people over before experimenting with a trout recipe, leaving the delicate fish in the oven long enough to qualify as jerky (many guests pled sudden veganism). No, never cook anything that isnÕt foolproof at a dinner party: no souffles, hollandaise, chocolate cakes with oozing centers, puff pastry, or anything that needs to set before serving. Even simple ingredients can fool you: I am adept at risotto (I let my early guests do the stirring), but when I once tried out some saffron I bought rather too cheaply on that trip to Egypt, the dish came out flourescent pink. Good thing it was close to ValentineÕs Day. Unless you truly enjoy the challenge of twenty-ingredient dishes and split-second timing, you should simply buy good, fresh, seasonal ingredients, and cook them the easiest way possible. Sear the meat (ask the vegans to bring their own tempeh) on a stovetop or outdoor grill, and sautee the vegetables in olive oil and salt, maybe with a little garlic. (You can sautee just about anything in olive oil and saltÑkosher, sea salt, or Fleur de Sel have more flavor than supermarket salt--and it will taste good, which is, in fact, the secret to Italian cooking).

6. Ignore special requests If your guests fail to call in advance to warn you that they have special dietary needsÑsay, peanuts make their lips swell and breathing passages closeÑthen you are under no obligation to try to cater to their dietary whims. If they are not eating carbohydrates, thatÕs their misfortune.

7. Go for atmosphere There are some easy ways to turn your less-than-spotless home into a cozy, intimate dining space. Candles add flickering romance to any room, and make your guests appear to be ten years youngerÑbut donÕtÕ overdo it, or your place will look like a boudoir and smell like a bath & body shop. DonÕt fuss with centerpiecesÑwhich tend to barricade guests from each otherÑbut a few fresh-but flowers in the room are festive. Fill up your CD changer with sultry, upbeat, world musicÑCaetano Veloso, Buena Vista Social Club, Cesaria Evora, Ali Farke ToureÑand by all means, keep your friendsÕ husbands away from the stereo.

8. Cleaning up Leave it to morning.